|
SubscriptionsSites I Read
|
|
|
|
| You don't know about any of the tears that fill my eyes at night. You don't know how much I want to do better. And although it may not sound like it sometimes, I want to fix all the stupid things I've done in the past and turn back time so I can work harder than I did.
I messed up. And you're right, it's my life. But I thought I would have someone to back me up. Maybe I was the one that was spoiled, I should've known acknowledged it more when people told me life was going to throw alot of crap at me, so I'd be more prepared for all the hardships that are about to come. I never said I'd stop. I never said I'd give up.
Even though it seemed sometimes as if I really wanted to just throw it all away, that was never the case. I thought I needed a short period of time so I could work on a new beginning and get back to the game as fast as I could, but instead I need to be writing this so I can apologize for disappointing you. I never wanted to disappoint, I never wanted to mess up. Everything just happened because I failed to grasp university life when moving up from graduation.
Now I'm in danger of being kicked out. In danger because I didn't work hard enough. In danger because I stupidly thought my friends would be able to help me when I needed them. But life just doesn't work that way anymore. Nobody's there to help me. When I really really needed it, you didn't want to hear it and you didn't want to care because my choices had disappointed you. And for that I'm sorry. Sorry because I am who I am. I'm someone that doesn't want to waste life at desk with a suitcase and tie all my life. I want to do something meaningful with my life, not just to me but to the world. What better job is there to do that than as an engineer? And why not start with those kids.
I haven't summoned all the courage I have inside me yet, but now I'm finding that it's harder and harder to dig it out because everytime I do, I fall a little bit deeper in the whole that I dug for myself. Can I build a ladder to climb to the top? If i'm an inch short, will I have anyone there to give me that inch? What if I promise I won't leave them down there? What if I promise that will all my strength after I have climbed up this ladder, I will help pull them up. Though I suppose the first step is to start building this ladder, I'm having problems making my first step. Someone please be there... I don't want to be trapped. I want to be successful. More importantly, I want to be someone. And I don't want to start building a new ladder until I'm 100% positive that the old one has failed on me.
Someone.... | | |
| You are the girl of my dreams
In my heart, I believe
You are the girl of my dreams, baby..
Of my dreams
All alone, in my room
Wishing that you were here.
Without you, in my arms
I'm holding back all of the tears.
Without you in my life I'll never be satisfied.. | | |
| But I'd rather be crying with her than without her | | |
| I was standing
All alone against the world outside
You were searching
For a place to hide
Lost and lonely
Now you’ve given me the will to survive
When we’re hungry...love will keep us alive
Don’t you worry
Sometimes you’ve just gotta let it ride
The world is changing
Right before your eyes
Now I’ve found you
There’s no more emptiness inside
When we’re hungry...love will keep us alive
I would die for you
Climb the highest mountain
Baby, there’s nothing I wouldn’t do
I was standing
All alone against the world outside
You were searching
For a place to hide
Lost and lonely
Now you’ve given me the will to survive
When we’re hungry...love will keep us alive
| | |
| (001) Your gender: Male
(002) Straight/gay/bi?: Straight, SOOOO straight
(003) Single?: Nopeeee, i'm TAKEN
(004) Want to be?: Want to be taken....not single =P
(005) Age?: 17
(006) Age you wish you were?: 18
(007) Your label?: "Jenny's bf" or "hardcore badminton guy" or "hao PINGG!"
(008) Your height?: 5'11?
(009) Your eye color?: Dark dark brown
(010) Any piercings?: Nope
(011) Any tattoos?: nope
DO YOU...
(012) Smoke: nope
(013) Drink: calpis
(014) Do drugs: no
(015) Read the newspaper: no
(016) Talk to strangers who IM you: Strangers don't IM me, but sure
(017) Like to walk in the leaves: If they're dry...
(018) Take walks in the rain: oh YES. i love walking in the rain =)
(019) Drive: "-_-
(020) Like to drive fast?: I bet i'd be so slow..
(021) Hurt yourself: not anymore...
(022) Have a job: nope
(023) Like who you are: now i do.
(024) Consider love a mistake: Never
(025) Base your judgement on looks alone: nope
(026) Do you like/love someone?: I love Jenny!!
HAVE YOU EVER...
(027) Been caught doing some thing your weren't supposed to be doing?: mmhmm
(028) Been in love: Yep..still am =)
(029) Done drugs: nope
(030) Gone skinny dipping: nope
(031) Had a surgery: i THINK. tonsils count?
(032) Ran away from home: nope. thought about it
(033) Played strip poker: nope
(034) Gotten beat up: i did the beating.
(035) Been on stage: yep
(036) Slept outdoors: i dont think so actually...would like to
(037) Pulled an all-nighter: a few times, hw
(038) Talked on the phone all night: LOL...ya
(039) Had an X-ray: ya
(040) Had detention: LONG ago
(041) Been suspended: nope
(042) Been Expelled: nope
(043) Slept all day: I coould never do this..
(044) Killed someone: nope
(045) Made out with a stranger: ugh. no
(046) Had sex with a stranger?: NO
(047) Kissed the same sex: i'm STRAIGHT
(048) Done anything sexual with the same sex? ahem. STRAIGHT!
(049) Been betrayed: ya..
(050) Broken the law: who doesnt..
(051) Been arrested: nope
(052) Been on radio/TV: i wish
(053) Been in a mosh-pit: nope
(054) Had a nervous breakdown: lol yaaa...many
(055) Been criticized about your sexual performance: nope
(056) Had a dream that kept coming back: nope. they kinda go right away ><
(057) Seen your favorite band play: nopee...want to
(058) Owned a pair of big sunglasses: lol no. those r fun xD
(059) Worn a huge hat: nope
(060) Judged other people by their clothing: yes, too often. sigh i'm cruel
(061) Been told you have good taste: yes.
(062) Been romantically attracted to someone and physically unattracted?: no
(063) Been used?: yes..
(064) Been in an abusive relationship?: no
DO YOU BELIEVE IN...
(065) Life on other planets: lol yes
(066) Miracles: gotta..
(067) Astrology: lol, i'm SO superstitious
(068) Magic: mmhmm
(069) God: no
(070) The Devil: yes.
(071) True Love: =O yes..of course
(072) Ghosts: skeptic.
(073) Rebirth: ya.
(074) Love at first sight: no
(075) Ying and Yang?: yes
(076) Witches: no
(077) The Easter Bunny: i think hes been eaten by now
(078) Santa Clause: Nopeeee....My dad's santa XD
LAST PERSON...
(079) That you laughed at: Jenny
(080) That laughed at you: Jenny
(081) That hurt you: Jenny
(081) That turned you on: Jenny
(082) That kissed you: Jenny
(083) That hugged you: Jenny
(084) That you went shopping with : Uhh...sister?
(085) To disappoint you: Sister. With her upside down music sheets LOLOL
(086) That made you cry: Jenny
(087) That brightened up your day: Jenny
(088) You saw a movie with: Jenny
(089) You talked to on the phone: Jenny, right now xD
(090) You talked to on text message: Jenny. I dont..text anyone else =P
(091) You to on IM: Jenny
(092) That made you smile: Jenny
(093) That made you laugh: Jenny
(094) That saw you cry: Jenny..if she knows haha
(095) That bought you something: Jenny
(096) That danced with you: Jenny
(097) That you have a crush on: Jenny
The Whats...
(098) What do you find romantic?: too much. i'm SOOO cheesy
(099) What are your turn-on's?: mmm.. Person in general, I look as a whole.
(100) What are your turn-off's?: And for every positive theres a negative so..Person in general
(101) What is best about the opposite sex?: Fun to talk to
(102) What is best about the same sex?: Hmm...Talk about random stuff.
(103) What is the last present someone got you?: Keychain
(104) What makes you happy?: Being with her
(105) What is your B-day?: July 17th
(106) What is your favorite movie?: Battle Royale, Saw Movies, Oy none off the top of my head
(107) What is your favorite band?: Don't have one i think
(108) What is your favorite type of movie?: Comedy
(109) What is your favorite season?: Hmm...Winter
(110) What is your favorite month?: But month is july xD
(111) What is your favorite Holiday?: Christmas
(112) What is your favorite language?: English xD
(113) What is your favorite thing to do?: Spend time with her
(114) What is your favorite color(s)?: Blue, Black, White
The Who's...
(115) Your best friend(s): You know who you areeeeeeee..... Jenny, AnF, Joo, Dav, JAMES,
(116) The one person you can trust with any thing?: Jenny <3
(117) Your favorite singer?: Haha sad...song-wise it mite be JAY =O. Voice wise...many
(118) Your favorite Actor?: Jared Palenski, Jensen Ackles..i THINK those are their names..
(119) Your favorite Actress?: Kate Cassidy, not sure about that name either haha
(120) Your favorite President?: None. | | |
|
